brides

Hello beautiful friends!

Sorry for the wee hiatus. Life has been more hectic than I ever really imagined it could be. 

One of my best friends is getting married next weekend and my cousin is getting married the weekend after that. It turns out that I've got 'bride-brain' remembering my wedding. It was such a happy time full of friends and family, and a little bit of stress! ;)

All brides handle the time prior to their wedding differently. I had a couple 'bride' moments, but they were small in comparison to some - at least this was the reassurance used to make me feel better by my good friends! 

In light of supporting my friend and family through this time, and remembering other friends in preparation for their weddings, I thought it would be kind of us to send them some happy thoughts. They are facing an exciting yet challenging time. 

I fear that due to shows like 'Say Yes to the Dress' and 'Four Weddings', the marriage part of the wedding day has lessened in importance. I was blessed to have kind and compassionate people around me who kept reminding me that my wedding was only one day. One day that signified the beginning of the rest of my life with my partner. One day. Yes, it's an important day, but it's one day. And then there's the rest of life. 

With statistics like the following, there is no question that brides (and grooms) need take this day and the rest of their days together seriously.

"What are the chances of a Candian couple getting a divorce?"

The riskiest year is the fourth year of marriage. In the first year of marriage, there are less than one divorce for every 1,000 marriages. After one year of marriage, there are 5.1 divorces for every 1,000 marriages in Canada. After two years of marriage, there are 17 divorces for every 1,000 marriages in Canada. After three years, there are 23.6 divorces for every 1,000 Canadian marriages. After four years, there are 25.5 divorces for every 1,000 Canadian marriages. After that, the chances of divorce decline slowly for each subsequent year of marriage.

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/statistics.htm

photo cred http://photo.digitalartstudio.ca/

I hope and pray that brides who are looking towards their big day remember the brilliance that is to come the next day, and the next day, and the next. I hope that the beautiful brides not only prepare for their special day, but their lives with their new partners. I hope that families and friends can help brides remember that while they are stunning in their wedding gown, they are breathtaking standing next to their partner, supporting them while they support her, every single day. 

I love you my brides and I can't wait to see you on your special days! And I definitely can't wait to figure out life with you as we move forward as WIVES!! :D

love and hugs

sarah d. 

serve servers serving

Hey friends!

Kody and I absolutely love Groupon! It's afforded us many an opportunity to eat out when we otherwise wouldn't have had the chance. 

On a recent 'date night' for dinner and a movie (thanks Groupon!), we talked about how awesome our serving staff were. From the manager to the server to the hostess, everyone was kind and smiling, and seemed to be having a fantastic day. Which meant that we had a fantastic experience!!! 

So Kody suggested I write a little blog about sending happy thoughts to our serving staff. I admit it, I've had my moments with servers and wait-staff and have been a pretty lame customer. However, just like there is always someone better, there's always someone worse.. and man oh man, I hate to think of the way that some of these hard-working servers get treated sometimes. 

photo cred flickr.com

So if you're out and about, or if you're hanging out at home today, send some happy vibes out to the people that try to make our date-nights/coffee dates/lunch meetings a pleasant experience. 

And better yet, if you're being served somewhere this week, make it your goal to put a smile on the face of your server! It's such a simple little task, and I think if we all made a point to do that for someone every day, we'd all be smiling and laughing a lot more!

hugs and loves

sarah d. 

the wee-est of the wee ones

Hello dear friends!

I have been walking alongside an old friend of mine who is going through a trying time. She has just been blessed with her first wee one, and the darling arrived in a hurry! So this new family has been spending their time at the hospital with hopes that soon they will finally be able to welcome their newest member HOME. 

While thinking on and praying for her and her family, it struck me that there is a lot of need in these places. 

There are pooped nurses. 

There are exhausted parents. 

There are scared siblings. 

There are so many questions. 

They need our happy thoughts and prayers and smiles and loves!

My friend recently wrote on her Facebook status: Today God gave me the blessings of speaking life to parents in the ward and laying hands on a 1lb 6oz baby and her parents and praying with them. This ward is  a place of hope. Little lives are saved daily. We got to love our nurses. It was a beautiful day. God is so good. 

I'm so happy to see the hope and faith that my friend has. And I'm certain that there are many more people in the NICU's around the world feeling this way. But I also know that there are doubts and fears, tiredness and frustration. So I'm excited about supporting them with some good vibes and I hope you are too!

hugs and loves to you and all the wee ones!

sarah d. 

humph...

Hey friends.

Sorry it's been awhile. Life has been full. I hope you all are doing well and feeling loved.

I am feeling a little stuck. befuddled. stunted.

Like this little guy, I'm just kinda hangin' out and waiting for something pretty to watch, or some hands to help. Either would be welcomed. ;)

It's not the nicest of places to be. However, it's certainly not the worst. But it does leave me dwelling in my mind and not nearly as present as I'd like to be for the loved ones around me.

If you find yourself in this predicament, whether it is something that has perplexed you into motionless behaviour, or feeling overwhelmed with life, or just zoning out, I hope you find your way to unstuckness soon.

I will be sending happy thoughts your way while I wait.

happy hugs
sarah d.

doing the dishes

Hey beautiful people, 

I hope you've had a full week of love and compassion, colours and liveliness!

A quick caveat: As I dream and think on these ideas through the week, I'm faced with the inevitability that including everyone in each 'something' is impossible. So, I'll put it to you: if you feel as though there's a 'hole', perhaps that hole is who you are to be thinking on for the week. Know what I mean jelly bean? ;)

I think it's funny how different things stick to our memories and other things don't. And this week, one of those funny sticky memories bubbled up to the surface and made me pause. 

I've been to Africa on three occasions and I can easily say that it is my favorite place I've ever dreamed of and been to. When I was in my early twenties, I ventured to Kenya with a troupe of young adults wanting to love on African people. I was blessed beyond measure by the graciousness and kindness of the people we met there. 

Being one of the leaders, I tended to stay back some days and prepare stuff or finish things up. One day there was a whole bunch of dishes that got left behind due to the group needing to be somewhere earlier than anticipated. So I filled up one of the kettles with water, lit a match, started the stove, and began warming up the water to do the task at hand. I was hunched over and scraping the dishes clean when one of our local friends popped in to say hello. She was a lovely woman who was thoughtful and helpful and we chatted happily on the beautiful morning. 

I was busy scraping away while we were talking and before I'd realized what was happening, she had washed half of my dishes in the freezing cold water! I quickly started to dry them to seem a least a little helpful!! There was no stopping her at this point, and lickety-split, the dishes were done. We finished up our chat, she was off to do an errand and I giggled to myself while walking back from saying good-bye. I headed over to the stove to turn off the burner, and noticed that the water hadn't even begun to boil. 

photo cred: BAUMGART foto

It hadn't even occurred to me to do the dishes in cold water - I of course thought they'd get cleaner in hot. And frankly, my super-smart-husband may tell me that that's the case. But that's not the point. The point, this week anyway, is that there are a lot of people that don't have the same 'ease-of-use' lifestyle that we do. 

(I'm making a grand assumption that most of my team of people are from first-world places. Or to put it a simpler way, places with easily-accessed-clean-running-water, cold and hot.)

Now, these people may not see not having hot tap water as a deficit, and it's true, there are harder things in life. But it causes me to pause. My husband and I have many luxuries here in our home, and I'm incredibly thankful for them. This week, those luxuries begged me to pray for those that do not have them. It may not make their lives impossible, but in some ways, it can make their lives harder. More challenging, more taxing. 

I like being able to stand upright at my sink, turn on the hot water tap, and wash my dishes. (Or some of you may even be blessed with dishwashers!! Lucky ducks!) I wonder what my friend would think of not having to crouch over a plastic bowl on the dirt ground washing her dishes in cold water. 

Anyway, maybe this week isn't even about thinking/praying/sending-happy-thoughts to those people who don't have some of our luxuries. Perhaps it's about reminding ourselves that we're blessed beyond measure in even the simplest of things that we take for granted. 

However you choose to spend your happy-thought-sending-time this week, do it with a smile and a laugh at my silliness for not just washing those darn dishes in the cold water!!

love and hugs

sarah d. 

gossip boys and girls

Hey there.

Time for some honesty. 

As I walk through life day in and out, I encounter innumerable moments and circumstances, people and conversations. And every so often - frankly more than I'd like, but less than when I was younger - I have an urge that disappoints me. I have a desire to tell someone else what I've seen, heard, experienced or witnessed. 

Well that's not so bad, is it? Not necessarily. 

But it is when the purpose of that telling is to mock or disrespect a person, or place, or moment. 

We're human, and people are interesting. So it's fair that every so often we'll find ourselves telling our friends about our other friends, or celebrities, or no one in particular. But when that tone of mocking arrives, the line has been crossed. 

I was on my way home the other day and talking with someone on my bluetooth. The conversation had frustrated me and after hanging up the phone, I noted that my first inclination was to call a friend who would empathize with my frustration and likely share their frustrations of that person with me.  

Thankfully, I didn't call anyone. 

I drove home in silence, disappointed with myself. 

And once I got home, I thought about all the things that I adore and appreciate about the person who had frustrated me, and the ill-feelings slinked away as if defeated. 

photo cred  trs125

Words are incredibly powerful, and can be used for good, or for evil. If I knew others were speaking of me the way I speak of them sometimes, I would feel terrible. I would feel insulted. Ostracized. Hurt. 

And you know what? I don't want to do that to someone else. Ever again. 

The thing is, some people live like this. 

People are consistently and constantly speaking hurtful and harmful things of others (and themselves). 

People are filling their days with negativity and then spreading that to others around them. 

These people need thoughts of love and adoration. Of joy and laughter. 

Would you spread those happy thoughts with me?

And would you think of me this week and help me to stay on a positive path!! :)

Talk soon,

sarah d. 

moms, kids, drugs

This is a topic that has been haunting me for more than a week now and I was wanting to share it with you. 

Moms who have addictions to alcohol and drugs. 

Working in the Social Service industry has shown me a side of humanity that saddens me. 

People are overwhelmed.

They struggle day in and day out with the simplest of things, and are simultaneously weighed down with the mightiest of things. 

If we consider ourselves to be an 'it takes a village...' people, then allowing moms and families to suffer in silence almost seems like abuse. And unfortunately, my experience has been that because of the pain and turmoil they've been through, they commonly turn away any offered help. They do this because of embarrassment, pride, fear, confusion, culture or any other number of reasons. 

My hands feel tied. I so desperately want to help - love - support - hug - listen - cry with - make laugh these people that have been through so much, but my hands feel so bound. 

And yet my heart is not. 

So I will think on them, pray for them, give them love from afar for now, and right next to them when I can. I will support them as best I can in any given situation that comes my way and I will do more with every opportunity I'm given. 

photo cred sandrina2005

Some information from
http://www.hopenetworks.org/addiction/Children%20of%20Addicts.htm :

Families affected by alcoholism report higher levels of conflict than do families with no alcoholism. Drinking is the primary factor in family disruption. The environment of children of alcoholics has been characterized by lack of parenting, poor home management, and lack of family communication skills, thereby effectively robbing children of alcoholic parents of modeling or training on parenting skills or family effectiveness.

Children of addicted parents exhibit depression and depressive symptoms more frequently than do children from non-addicted families. Children of addicted parents are more likely to have anxiety disorders or to show anxiety symptoms.  Children of addicted parents are at high risk for elevated rates of psychiatric and psychosocial dysfunction, as well as for alcoholism.

Unbelievable amounts of information can be found on the topic of addictions and families everywhere online, at the library, and likely on your 'main street' downtown. If you're interested to learn more, go on the hunt and you'll find it. 

I'm hopeful for a new generation of young people that aren't dragged down into the muck of their parents generation. Making that happen means that the rest of us need to hold our hands out to these moms and their families, no matter how bound we feel. The simplest of efforts goes a long way in the life of another. 

The sentiment will not be lost. And nor will your love. 

hugs

sarah d. 


**Addendum: The 'info' that I've posted in from another website is simply that; information as collected by a certain group of people, in a certain way, that I can neither confirm nor deny has been peer reviewed or tested in any way. This is worthy of note, as stats and general info, as shared above, can be incredibly misleading. I was simply hoping to illustrate that there seems to be a pattern within the households of addicted moms/families, and these are some of what's been noted. 


That said, the issue is not the information, or the statistics, or the lack of peer reviewing, the issue is that people are struggling. Moms are drowning. Kids are suffering. And even in the tiniest ways, we can do something to help here and there, even if it's a happy thought from time to time, or a smile as we pass by. 

pause and consider

We all have to start somewhere, and though I've started many times before, I begin again. Thanks for checking in with me. 

Lately I've been feeling incredibly selfish. For my time, my family, my space, my words. Just about everything. Honestly, I'm not really liking this 'all-me-all-the-time' I've been inadvertently trying to carve out for myself. So I began thinking back on the times life has felt the most joyful and fulfilling, and it's been when my purpose was to help others shine. 

And so the catalyst for this blog is an attempt at selflessness. To keep it simple. To love simply. 

I'm often compelled to (insert word like 'pray' here) for people, groups of people, places, occurrences, situations and anything else I can think of really. I love dreaming of these different people or places, and I love sending them good vibes and wishing them the best in life, or peace, or laughter beyond compare, or rest, or whatever the case may be. And frankly, I was hoping you'd join me.

photo cred : Natália Rosin

So I ask you to pause and consider. Imagine how the world might change if we all took some time, globally, to hold up a certain some-one/thing/place? I think it could be beautiful. I think our hearts will grow. I think love will grow as we grow. 

I don't know exactly how this will play out in the wash, but we can make it up as we go. 

You  might devote some time on the day you touch base here. Or you may think on the something through the week and ponder while spreading the love that direction. Or maybe you'll take the time to do some research and educate yourself so as to educate and love others. There's no right or wrong, there's just love. Simple.

I'll be back soon with the first communal something to send our love to. 

Thanks for stopping by. 

hugs

sarah d.